


Everytime

by anntheshutin



Series: SouMako One-Shots Inspired by Songs [3]
Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, M/M, Moving On, Past Relationship(s), past SouRin, past makoharu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-12-19 08:34:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11893971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anntheshutin/pseuds/anntheshutin
Summary: Makoto thought he was prepared for this day. He was the one to send Haru and email, hoping that someday he would be able to once again talk to his best friend. Now that he was standing in front of the entrance, he realized how naïve he was.He was afraid that the life he had built in the 5 years that they were apart would come crashing down with just the sight of the face he tried so hard to erase from his mind.He was scared that all the memories they shared would claw its way out from the depth of his being, where he hid and sealed it, and it would rip his heart into shreds.





	Everytime

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Legnaa_Larg](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Legnaa_Larg/gifts).



> Inspired by "Everytime" by Britney Spears
> 
> This work is the sequel of my other fanfic [ Goodbye To You ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11148591).  
> I would recommend that you read that fanfic first because this may confuse you if you still haven't done so. If you're already happy with how Goodbye To You had ended and thought that it doesn't need a sequel anymore, I understand. This is a request from one of the readers and I hope that others who were curious what happened to Makoto, Sousuke, Rin, and Haru would also enjoy this.
> 
> To Legnaa_Larg:  
> I hope you liked this! Thank you so much for reading my work and for always leaving such kind comments on my other fanfics, and I'm so sorry it took me some time to finish this. This is my way of showing you my gratitude.
> 
>  
> 
> This chapter is un-beta'd, please let me know if you see any mistakes and I'd definitely appreciate it.

“Why do you have to go anyway?” Rin complained as he watched Haru comb his hair. He had never seen Haru fuss over his appearance before, and it didn’t help with the heavy feeling on his stomach.

“We’ve already talked about this,” Haru said without looking at him. “He’s my best friend, Rin.”

“You mean ‘was’,”Rin said with a frown as he sank down the bed.

Haru threw him a look that clearly told him to shut up and drop the subject. Rin knew better than to continue.

Things had been rough between him and Haru after Sousuke and Makoto had left. It made them realize whatever he and Haru had was shallow and empty. They fought a lot, one blaming the other for their ruined relationships.  There was even a point when they decided to part ways. But loneliness crept in during the darkest of nights, and they had no one but each other to hold on to.

“What if he asks you to come back?” Rin mumbled.

“He won’t.”

“How can you be sure? I mean he’s the first one to-”

“He wouldn’t because he’s not stupid,” Haru said with a huff. He turned back to the mirror and said, “You’d understand me if it were Sousuke.”

Rin’s frown deepened as he turned and faced the wall. It was a low blow, and Rin knew Haru did it on purpose since he knew that Rin’s relationship with Sousuke was a sore subject. Rin did everything he can so he can talk and apologize to Sousuke. He spent days desperately trying to speak to him. Yet Sousuke had never responded, and all his efforts were met with radio silence.

Was he jealous because he was afraid of losing Haru to Makoto? Or was it because Sousuke had not reached out to him the way Makoto did to Haru?

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean what I said,” he heard Haru say with concern in his voice. Rin did not have the heart to respond, so he lied quietly still.

“I have to go,” Haru said before Rin heard the door to their bedroom open and close with a click. After a few minutes, he heard another door open and shut, the sound fainter than the first one. Haru had already left the house. Rin grabbed a pillow and buried his face on it to muffle his sobs.

 

* * *

 

The silence was deafening within the car as Sousuke drove with Makoto. It was an uncomfortable silence, something that has been rare since they started their relationship.

They decided to come back to their hometown to visit Makoto’s parents for the holiday. Coincidentally, Haru and Rin were also there for a vacation. Makoto told him that he decided to personally meet and talk to Haru. When Sousuke asked why he wanted to do so, Makoto said that he just wants closure and he doesn’t want to go on knowing that there was someone who was still hurting because of him. When Sousuke first found out that Makoto contacted Haru, there was a niggling fear at the back of his mind saying that Makoto would leave him as soon as he had made up with Haru. For some time, this had caused a friction between the two of them. However, Makoto talked to him and had assured him that his fears would never happen. He had also made it a point to be transparent and would even talk to Sousuke about everything he and Haru discussed on their email exchange.

Sousuke parked the car in front of the restaurant. After pulling the handbrake up, he turned to Makoto and asked, “Are you nervous?”

“I am,” Makoto replied without meeting his eyes.

From the years that Sousuke had been with Makoto, he had learned to read him and his actions. He took Makoto’s hand and rubbed his thumb over the back of his hand. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”

Makoto finally looked at him and Sousuke saw that he almost looked distressed. “I have to. I feel that I need to, for myself,” Makoto said. From the way he spoke, Sousuke thought that Makoto sounded more like he was trying to convince himself instead of him.

Sousuke smiled and squeezed Makoto’s hand. “You’ll be fine. You’d feel a lot better once all this is over.” He wanted to just take Makoto away and protect him from whatever was hurting him at the moment. However, he knew that it was the final step Makoto had to take so he could finally be free from the shackles of his past. Sousuke let go of Makoto’s hand and reached for the paper bag he placed underneath his seat. “Can you hand this to Haru? Tell him to give it to Rin,” Sousuke said as he handed the bag to Makoto.

“Of course,” Makoto said as he took the bag, eyeing the bag curiously.

“Can you check the note and the content first? I just want to make sure you’re ok with what’s in it,” Sousuke said.

With a questioning gaze, Makoto looked at him, then to the tiny note attached to the paper bag. He also took a peek at its content.

“Are you ok with it?” Sousuke asked.

“Yes, it’s fine,” Makoto said. To Sousuke’s surprise, Makoto grabbed Sousuke’s hand and kissed his knuckles, his eyes tightly closed. “You know I love you, right?” Makoto said, his words almost sounded like he was pleading.

“Of course, I know you’d come back to me,” Sousuke said before leaning towards Makoto.  He pressed a kiss on Makoto’s forehead, the on his nose, and finally, on his lips. “I love you. I’ll pick you up later.”

 

* * *

 

Makoto thought he was prepared for this day. He was the one to send Haru and email, hoping that someday he would be able to once again talk to his best friend. Now that he was standing in front of the entrance, he realized how naïve he was.

Breathing deeply and exhaling slowly, he gathered all his courage and entered the restaurant. He looked around the place until he spotted what he was looking for.

There, sitting by himself, was Haru. All of a sudden, he realized nothing would prepare him for what he felt as soon as his eyes landed on his best friend. It was like a punch to his chest, the air suddenly pushed out of his lungs and it felt so hard for him to breathe. He wanted to run but was not sure to where.

He was afraid that the life he had built in the 5 years that they were apart would come crashing down with just the sight of the face he tried so hard to erase from his mind.

He was scared that all the memories they shared would claw its way out from the depth of his being, where he hid and sealed it, and it would rip his heart into shreds.

Most of all, he had a frightening realization that in his desire to have closure, he might have unknowingly hurt Sousuke. Makoto started to doubt himself; he should have thought things through better. Sousuke endured so much pain in the past, and Makoto was even a witness to it. It took them years to heal, and Sousuke trusts him with all his heart. The last thing Makoto wanted to do was to afflict fresh wounds on scars that they worked so hard to mend.

Yet he still loves and cares for Haru, though he knew that they could never have what they once had back. It was not possible; his heart wouldn’t be able to take it. For every time he remembers the days he had with Haru, he also remembers the nights when he would just curl up in bed crying, hating himself because he wasn’t enough for Haru.

He stood at the same spot until Haru lifted his and his blue eyes connected with his. Makoto gripped his hands together tightly until the handle of the paper bag dug at his skin, hoping that the pain would help him ground himself. The last thing he wants was to fall apart in front of Haru.

Slowly, he made his way until he was close to the table where Haru was. He then settled down on the chair across Haru. Makoto swallowed as he can feel a lump forming in his throat. “How are you, Haru?”

He stared and tried to tell what Haru was thinking of. His expressions seemed familiar to Makoto, but he could no longer read Haru. Despite a voice in his head that warned him, Makoto reached forward and held Haru’s hand.

Haru cleared his throat before he spoke. “I’m doing well, Makoto,” Haru said as he smiled and squeezed Makoto’s hand.

During dinner, they talked about the things going on with their lives. Makoto talked about how happy he was with his new work at a kindergarten, how the other teacher laughed because he became an instant favorite of the children on his first day. He was also a swim coach for grade school children during the weekend. He also mentioned how proud he was of Sousuke as he has now been promoted.

He listened as Haru told him about the competitions he joined, and that he finally decided to retire and open a seafood restaurant with the money he earned during competitions. He and Rin had also decided to move in together. Rin had also resigned as a police officer and just help Haru run his business.

As he listened to Haru, Makoto knew that he was truly happy for his best friend. He had been worried about him ever since he left. However, Sousuke was right, Haru would be able to grow and live a life without him.

 

* * *

 

After dinner, Haru and Makoto decided to walk by the shore as the moon lit the evening sky. It was the same path they took when they went to school when they were younger.

“I’m really glad that you’ve achieved so much, Haru. You know, I used to watch videos of your competitions. I’m so proud of you,” Makoto said.

Haru turned to watch as the moon cast a silvery glow on Makoto’s profile. His heart ached once more. The years they have been apart had been kind to Makoto. He was still the most beautiful man Haru has ever known. He fought the urge to reach out and hold him. No, he no longer had the right to, and Haru wished over and over again that he could turn back the time and undo all the wrong that he did.

Their conversation was interrupted when Makoto stopped and pulled his phone out of his pocket to check it. “It’s Sousuke. He’s come to pick me up.”

There was a terrible feeling sinking at the pit of his stomach, Haru opened his mouth tried to think of something say, but he came up empty handed.

“Well, I guess I have to go, Sousuke’s already waiting for me,” Makoto said with a smile, though his eyes betrayed what he truly felt. He took the paper bag that was slung on his arm. “Please give this to Rin,” Makoto said as he handed the paper bag to Haru.

Pain seized Haru’s heart and the next second, he found himself holding Makoto’s arm, and he heard the paper bag fall on the sand. “Makoto, wait.” He felt Makoto’s arm tense up under his hand. Haru looked at his feet as he spoke. “When you left, I never got to kiss you,” he said. He braved looking into Makoto’s eyes as he spoke, “Can I kiss you?”

Seconds ticked as Haru’s heart pounded loudly in his chest, and he released Makoto’s arm. He was starting to regret what he said, maybe he asked too much. Just when he was about to take his words back, Makoto held his shoulders with both his hands and nodded.

When Haru tried to lean towards Makoto, he felt Makoto’s grip on his shoulders tighten, keeping him still. Haru decided to tip his head back and closed his eyes. As he waited, he could feel tears prickling his eyes.

Then, he felt it; the soft lips that he longed to feel for so long pressed against his. He was once again reminded of the warmth that kept him safe for as long as he could remember, the scent of the man who always comforted him whenever life gets him down.

In that moment, Haru could only wish to freeze the time and make it last forever. He gripped the front of Makoto’s shirt tighter, unaware as to when he grabbed them.

To his dismay, he felt Makoto’s lips part with his. When he stepped back and opened his eyes, he lost control of the tears that he tried so hard to hold back. Staring back into Makoto’s eyes, he became confused as he wasn’t sure if the wetness that he sees on Makoto’s face were his own tears, or were Makoto’s.

Makoto ran his fingers to dry the tears on his cheeks. He stepped back and gave him a watery, sad smile. “I-I have to go, Haru. Goodbye.”

Fear gripped Haru’s heart and he could not stop himself when he threw himself in Makoto’s chest and held him tightly. “No! Don’t say that! Please don’t say that.” He felt Makoto’s body stiffen under his hold, so he held Makoto tighter. “Don’t say goodbye! Please don’t say goodbye!”

He couldn’t stand it. He knew that there was a gaping hole in his life ever since Makoto left him. He loved Rin. But Makoto was not just a partner, he was a part of Haru’s life. He has to have him back. He would rather cling to the fringes of whatever was left of their relationship than to not have Makoto in his life at all.

He felt Makoto’s arms wrap around him as he whispered, “I’m sorry, I won’t say it anymore.” Large, warm hands brushed his hair off of his forehead, and he felt Makoto kiss his forehead. 

“I’ll see you again, ok?” Makoto said before he stepped back, his hand sliding from his shoulders to Haru’s hand. After a gentle squeeze on his hand, Makoto let go, turned around, and walked away.

Haru couldn’t stop him. He no longer has the right to. At that moment, he realized that when Makoto left him 5 years ago, leaving in the middle of the night was done by Makoto out of kindness. Because it was only at that very moment when he learned how much it crushed his heart seeing Makoto walk away.

When he turned around to walk back home, he heard something crunch under his feet. He looked down and saw the paper bag that Makoto handed him. He brushed off the sand and tried to straighten the wrinkles on the paper. He would just apologize to Rin later.

 

* * *

 

Rin stood by the door, waiting for Haru to return. His eyes and nose were still red from crying, and the evening breeze helped cool his skin. It was too quiet for Rin’s liking, so he decided to just wait at the door.

He saw Haru approaching, his head lowered, hiding his face. The first impulse Rin had was to ask what happened as soon as he was just a few feet away. But the words got stuck in his throat when he saw the state Haru was in.

Haru cried.

Rin chose to remain silent.  Instead, he wrapped his arms around Haru and held him tightly.

After a few seconds, he felt Haru return the hug. It wasn’t the right time to talk. Rin understood that Haru only needs someone to be with him. He pulled back from the hug and took Haru’s hand to lead him towards the living room. As soon as they settled on the sofa, Haru curled up on his side and laid his head on Rin’s chest.

They sat together for what felt like hours with no words exchanged between them. Rin ran his finger through Haru’s hair while his other hand rubbed Haru’s side.

“What’s this?” Rin asked as he noticed a paper bag on the coffee table.

Haru looked at the direction Rin was pointing at. “Makoto told me to give it to you, I’m sorry I dropped it,” he answered. He picked it up and handed it to Rin. “It’s from Sousuke.”

With his eyes widened in disbelief, Rin straightened his back and took the paper bag. Rin looked at Haru, unsure of what he should do next.

It seems that Haru knew better than him what he needed at that moment. Haru stood up and said, “I’ll just take a bath.”

Rin was now left on his own in the living room. He was afraid of seeing what was in the harmless looking paper bag. He knew nobody was watching him, yet he still felt like he was in a room full of people and their eyes were all on him.

He peeked inside the bag and saw a red shark plushie. His vision blurred as he picked the toy up from the bag. He remembered a joke that he and his best friend shared. Sousuke used to tease him that his sharp teeth may remind people of a shark, but he was nothing but a big, soft, shark plushie.   

As his hand gently shook, he checked the hand written note attached to the now crumpled bag.

_I miss you. Call or text me XXXX-XXX-XXXX_

Rin held the plushie close to his chest and cried. What was Sousuke thinking? Rin would never understand him, and it makes him happy to know that Sousuke still hadn’t changed. He was still as unpredictable as ever.

He wiped his tears and set the paper bag and the plushie on the coffee table. He then followed Haru to the bathroom. He knew it was his turn to demand someone to hold him. He knocked on the bathroom door and asked, “Hey, can I join you?”

Through the sound of soft splashes of water, he heard Haru’s reply. “Sure.”

 

* * *

 

Though the ride back home was as quiet, Sousuke noticed that the tension on Makoto’s shoulders was gone.  Throughout the ride, Makoto had a contemplative look on his face as he stared out the window.

When they got home, Sousuke got ready for bed while Makoto took a quick shower. While waiting for Makoto, Sousuke heard his phone’s message notification. He picked up his phone and found that he received a message from an unknown number. He tapped on the message to read it.

_Idiot._

Sousuke smiled and saved the number before placing his phone on top of the night stand. Whether Rin denies it or not, Sousuke knew that he liked the gift Sousuke gave him.

It had been a couple of years since Sousuke realized that in his heart, he had already forgiven Rin. He was angry and hurt in the beginning, but with time and Makoto’s love, he was able to get over the pain he felt due to Rin’s infidelity. He had also accepted the fact that no matter how much he denies it, Rin will always have a place in his heart.

“Did he send you a message?” Makoto asked.

Sousuke nodded. He looked at Makoto, and he started to feel the warmth spread from his chest to his whole being as it always does. Every single night that he lies down on the same bed with his boyfriend, he thanks the heavens that it was Makoto who was beside him when he went through one of the toughest ordeals of his life. He knew that he would have never learned to forgive, or not be bitter if Makoto had not helped him.

Makoto lied beside him, laying his head on top of Sousuke’s chest. Makoto had a habit of sniffing his chest while rubbing circles on his stomach, claiming that it helps him relax.

“I love you, Makoto,” Sousuke said before kissing the top of his head

 Makoto lifted his eyes and leaned forward to kiss Sousuke’s lip. “I love you too,” Makoto replied.

  

**Author's Note:**

> I have a feeling that by now, readers of my other one-shots had already raised their brow or rolled their eyes on my choice of songs, and I'm really sorry! It's just that there's something so hauntingly sad about Everytime that it makes my heart ache even if I'm not broken-hearted. I have to admit, I listen to songs without really caring about the musician. For me, it's more about the emotions invoked by the song or its lyrics.
> 
> I imagined that 5 years after the events that happened on my other story Goodbye To You, it would be Makoto and Haru who would reconcile first. Sousuke and Rin would have a bit more difficulty with communication compared to Makoto and Haru. I also believe that they will all have a place in each other's hearts. However, it doesn't necessarily mean that they could be in a relationship because they're bound to hurt each other along the way because they could no longer trust each other after what had happened.
> 
> Anyways, thank you very much for taking the time to read my fanfic. I'm also very grateful for all the kudos, comments, subscriptions, and bookmarks. I feel like I keep on saying this everytime I post something here, but I mean it every single time that I do.
> 
> If you want to talk to me about my fanfic, or maybe have a request, you can alway visit my [Tumblr](https://ann-the-shut-in.tumblr.com/)


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